“If only I didn’t have to speak!”

‘Confident Communicating’ regularly works with people who recognise that a lack of confidence in the areas of effective public speaking and interpersonal communication have held them back from pursuing their dreams and boldly applying for their prize jobs. This fear has stunted growth and kept them in a box. Undoubtedly self-limiting and self-defeating thoughts can trap us into a life that restricts our potential.

Another true observation is cited in Robert Dilenschneider’s book ‘Power and Influence’… “You start to communicate effectively, this leads to recognition and recognition in turn leads to influence”, I would add to that a fourth positive outcome – ‘OPPORTUNITIES’ – improved communication skills undoubtedly lead to open doors as we effectively connect with others!

If you can relate to this – NOW is the time to make a CHANGE, take a STEP and G–R-O-W. There is help at hand and there is nothing more exciting than overcoming those things that have stopped us from moving forwards.

Difficulties with speaking -“Can’t breathe, talk or think!”

 

The whole subject of speaking is absolutely fascinating and difficulties in this area are so often not what they seem on the surface.

Absolutely we can have a difficulty with the distinctness of being able to say our ‘th’ sound or our ‘l’s’ and we need to work on those in order to have clear speech. However, we do have to come at speech work, at times, in a more holistic manner …

In another arena of life, people may experience financial difficulties which could be simply due to the loss of a job or a stream of income, but so often it can be more a symptom of a deeper issue ie. overspending due to lack of self esteem, an inability to budget and so some fiscal discipline and management is needed. Similarly, very often, this can be the case with regards to being able to confidently stand up and speak in front of others. The moment the spotlight is on us, if we are untrained and unskilled in this area, a myriad of thoughts and feelings can manifest which make it extremely difficult to function and do a great job.

Happily, I believe that there are some very practical ways through these difficulties …

Overcoming the fear of public speaking

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“Hi Sarah, just wanted to let you know that my presentation went really well. I didn’t get that anxious feeling, which was great!”  NH, Sydney

 I love receiving feedback from my clients and hearing how well they have done, and are doing, in achieving their personal communication goals. One of these goals can be about actually beginning to enjoy standing up and sharing our thoughts, knowledge and ideas with others.

What is it about speaking publicly that can make even the most robust of us tremble at the knees, and to be cited as one of the greatest fears for people, second only to the fear of death?

Is it the knowledge of all eyes being just on us? Is it the acute awareness of the responsibility to ‘deliver’? Is it a mistrust in ourselves not to do something that would make us look foolish?

There are certainly proven strategies and techniques for handling nerves that do not include drinking lots of alcohol prior to speaking, or taking beta blockers!

Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

“Training with Sarah has demystified the art of public speaking. I always thought it was something some people were just naturally good at – and I wasn’t one of them! With Sarah’s help I realised there are some very real skills I could learn to turn me into one of those ‘naturally good speakers’. Thank you Sarah, I feel so much more confident and now I do well with my presentations and speeches.”
JW, Sydney

It is so easy to look at the strengths of others and feel intimidated or lesser and as not hitting the mark ourselves in a particular arena of life. However, as with any area of training and personal development, a little bit of knowledge goes a long way. Get wisdom, get understanding!

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

If we look at an accomplished public speaker when even the very thought of getting up and speaking in front of people makes us feel sick it can make the whole process seem even more overwhelming. However, if we begin to break it down into bite-size pieces and identify what that person is doing well and why they appear so relaxed and confident we are well on our way to conquering the fear and limitations around our own lives.

Some adrenalin and nerves are a positive as we stand up to speak and whether entirely fear-less public speaking is a possibility for every person isn’t really the issue … it is more about facing the fear, overcoming it and growing in skill – we enjoy the things that we feel we do well at! I have testimony after testimony from clients who are actually now enjoying the whole experience of presenting and doing talks in front of colleagues, bosses and peers. There is nothing more rewarding for me than to hear that what was so terrifying for clients is now something they are improving in and even enjoying.

“I never thought I could do so well” … “I did soooo well!” … “I felt so confident and in control!”